Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedLike the boy who broke my heart from across the phone at 18
Extracting promises of a forever that’ll never come
Making me laugh till I cried
Making me believe that love could drop on me like a sudden summer rain
Refreshing and unexpected
Quiet yet present
Until you left
And I had to pick the pieces of my heart up off the floor.
I know they say it’s better to have loved than to never try
But I wish I never met you and tasted what could have been.
Or the boy I met at 22
Who reminded me so much of him
You made me laugh
Made me feel special then suddenly stopped.
It was a whirlwind that ended too soon
Then you picked up the knife he’d dropped
And stabbed me with words
leaving lacerations in places I’m still discovering
Maybe I miss what could have been
Maybe I wondered what could have been
Maybe I still liked him.
But I wish I’d never had to start at all.
I wish your part in my story could be erased.
And the boy I met at 24
Older, but not wiser
You left me with more scars than they did.
You weaponised my pain
And made my joy impossible
You made living a war rather than a peace I already possessed.
You had my friends praying for me, hoping it’d end as soon as it began.
Then I found a loophole and I thought I’d got out
But my mind wouldn’t let me leave even when my heart already did.
Until you went too far and hurt me in my darkest moments.
I don’t forgive you
Maybe I never will.
I’m just glad you no longer have a hold on me.
I don’t miss you and I hope I never do.
Getting over you was easier than with everyone else
I’d grown up
Healed my inner child.
Then I spoke with you last night
And felt the overwhelming sense of release, an exhale wash over me again.
I wish I’d never met you and known how cruel words can be.
I wish you’d never had the chance to hold up the knife they all used.
I wish it was never you.
- Ayo
